That picture there, the one that caught your scrolling eye and piqued your media-fragmented curiosity, is half of the $250 dollars worth of supplements I now take every day to prevent spike protein damage from the ‘vid.
I know who I got it from. I wish I didn't, but it's interestingly useful that I do. Because I blame him for coming into my house sick, trying to pretend that he wasn’t sick for the first three days while he walked around coughing on everything, and then being that stereotypically shaggy, clueless, messy hippy about being sick once he admitted that he was (he went to a sweat lodge and then a party even though he could barely stand up straight and looked like he was going to die). I sometimes feel equanimous about it: "Hey, we all get sick, he didn’t know", sometimes wrathful: “Fuck that kid.”
Especially when I look at this small mountain of supplements and think of how much they cost, that I’m going to need more soon, that one of my friends who got it from my household is still sick and has it worse than anyone I’ve known who’s gotten it so far, that I lost two weeks of life to it and a heap of money taking care of it, all the things. I want to throw all this anger and frustration at that kid and throw him off a cliff.
Aaaaah, the judgement. The blame and criticism. The othering of the villain. It's all so easy! Wouldn’t that just complete the equation set out for us here by the “powers-that-be”?
That kid is just a link in a very long chain that was being forged way before the vid arrived on the scene; selfish and cavalier about how utterly ill he was, but not malicious, and just as groundless in this chaos as so many of us are. He moved according to his beliefs the whole time, as have I throughout this entire experience; as do we all. Where did his beliefs come from? Where do mine come from? Why did he refuse to take a test and stay home while I decided to take one and lay low while I rode out the burliest flu I’ve ever experienced? Why do I believe in the ivermectin I took but other people felt compelled to tell me that it may kill me or at the least cause brain damage if I take it? One person even assured me that it actually didn’t help me, it made things worse.
We’re all mapping this territory as we go here. We’re putting it together as best as we can as we live an experience for beyond and outside of anything we’ve previously encountered. Everyone thinks their perspective is the “right” one. I understand that. I sit in that place with stone-hard resolve. It takes monumental effort to see (and respect) a different perspective about so many things at this point. I think everyone needs whatever certainty they can eke out for themselves right now because the world as we know it is dissolving rapidly, the world that is coming is in some ways not yet visible, and in others it is all too painfully clear.
The way I see it - with my own experience of how this kid related to being sick, of my own wanting to kick his ass for getting me and so many other people sick, and from the two years that I’ve now spent watching this whole story unfold - is that one of the things that we’re suffering from the most, far beyond the vid, is our inability to gracefully handle the enormous amount of fear and uncertainty that we are currently steeped in as individuals and a collective. One of the things we're most endangered by right now is our impulse to turn on eachother because of our fear, exhaustion, and overwhelm.
That’s not a fault. Modern western society does not teach us, in all of our thirteen years of compulsory schooling (indoctrination) or the extended years of “higher” education beyond that, how to actually be with ourselves. How to be alive with the fullness of the human experience in a beautiful and life-giving way. Our family units rarely do either, because they didn’t learn it at home or in school either. In school we get taught the conquerors history and how to make rock candy by putting a string in a glass of sugar water in science class, we learn algebra and Spanish, if we're lucky we still have arts in our curriculum (I was so lucky that way), but we don’t get taught how to deal with strong emotions, the hard ones or the pleasurable ones. We don’t get taught how to deepen into the resource of the Soul and deal with the slings and arrows of the human endeavor. We don’t get taught how to live well. We may or may not get that at home. Enough people don’t get it anywhere that it definitely shows.
By and large, we don’t get initiated. And everything suffers greatly for that.
So now, when we are immersed in a sea of ambient fear and tightening pressure, when all of the bills for The Way Things Are are coming due at once and we don’t have the funds to pay them, when we should be doing whatever it takes to put an end to the whole dominant power system that created the vid and seems to now be successfully stratifying society into the jabbed and the not-jabbed through a ruthless and relentless propaganda campaign and censorship agenda while the life-support systems of the planet collapse and our way of life becomes entirely untenable on just the logistical level alone, let alone the energetic, we don’t know how to respond in a coherent, life-giving way. Now when we need to come together to reclaim our power, be initiated by this experience, and free ourselves from the crushing mediocrity and insanity of society and all of the people and systems that hold that in place, we are, instead, in an ever-deepening predicament: a rabid tribalization around perspectives, opinions, and ideas, a stark and vicious “othering” that is profoundly disempowering internally and collectively, and a crazy bickering over the basic issue of truth that renders all progress towards resolution and transformation essentially hamstrung. We are blaming eachother, fighting eachother, separating even more in a time when we so desperately need to come together. We are participating wholeheartedly in the work of tearing ourselves apart.
We are in it up to our necks and being sucked down hard, but we have not drowned yet, and I don’t believe that we will, even though I am one skeptical motha.
It is a time for the deepest alchemy.
New Age spirituality (especially the grossly materialistic entrepreneurial kind) barks the claim, constantly, that you must simply change your thoughts to change your reality (and get thin, rich, and laid). This has become a very popular concept since The Secret came out. I like this idea and I wish it were that easy (says the person who spends her working hours and many in her personal life unravelling trauma patterning in the psyche, Soul, and body to create the space for empowerment). But it’s a gross over-simplification of one of the deepest principles of magic and the mystery: that material reality is a manifestation of the energetic realm, and that for any significant change to happen in the material world, it must first happen in the mystery, which is the spiritual world, or to the scientific mind, the quantum field. Otherwise you’re just cutting heads off the Hydra. Looky there! Three grew back in it’s place. Lovely. My sword arm is exhausted, but the Hydra is invigorated.
The alchemy that is asked of us in this time is a subtle and sophisticated energetic process of clarification. It cannot be accomplished by force, arguing, or will. There’s a certain skill needed, a sensitivity. An elegance. We have to be able to recognize and feel our inner gold, to recognize and feel the lead that is saturated into it, and to be able to dance them apart without destroying ourselves in the process. It's a masters-level endeavor. And it is the invitation of the moment.
We cannot accomplish this transformation if we are steeped in chaos and disorder. It’s not going to happen online or at a protest (though those things are valid elements of our process). It’s not going to happen through the mind, but the imagination is the medium of the transformation. We cannot create a thriving world of integrated, mutually supportive beauty and richness if we are at eachothers throats. We cannot galvanize the extraordinary potential of our personal or collective power if we cannot tolerate differences of perspective and approach to things that matter deeply to us and actually attend to the things that affect us all regardless of what we believe or opine. We cannot come together and address the issues that affect us all unless we realize that we are kin, and all trying to find our way through the most profoundly difficult time that we have ever experienced.
We cannot free ourselves if we don’t understand how we are enslaved.
One of the things that is most extraordinary about the “pandemic” experience is that it so deeply illuminates how interwoven we truly are - both in our ability to affect eachothers health and in our susceptibility to the influence of the authorities under which we all live - but that has not brought us closer together, it has actually been leveraged by the power mongers to drive us further apart. Clever opportunism, there. We’ve been ruthlessly conditioned to other eachother in a time when internal integrity and coherence in conjunction with solidarity and collaboration is our only way through these woods as a collective. We need to reclaim ourselves from our internal fragmentation and our collective contention, or that will be where we fail in both the alchemy and the initiation long before the vid or any of the myriad of other crises that are quietly boiling in the background bring the house down.
But I believe in us. Each of us individually, and especially in the power of small groups of dedicated practitioners doing the deep work of transformation for the benefit of all Life in a beautiful way.
We can do this.
It’s time to get really present with ourselves and each other, with our Souls and Life and our own sovereign power, dissolve the lead of all of this bullshit out of the gold of our own gnosis, and come together to make our way into the more beautiful world that we can hear calling us into a greater experience of Life with the Earth, all species, the worlds beyond this one, ourselves, and each other. It's time to find our people and get down to the deep work of the times. And I personally think it's super exciting.
It’s a big deal. It’s a lot to ask. It’s a long shot. The odds are slim. I don’t personally know, yet, how best to participate and encourage this deep work other than to speak what I believe and invite people to walk with me if they are inspired to (and me being an adversarial loner, at that!). Most people wouldn’t have any idea what the fuck I’m even talking about. But some do. I believe enough do. I believe in the power of the human heart and the immortal Soul that each Being is animated by. I believe that the destiny of the Earth herself is not devastation and sorrow, but beauty and joy. I could be wrong, of course. It could be all of it together. It already is. But I think a different recipe is ready to be served. I don’t know what part we are to play in what I feel will be an extraordinary transition from the way things have been to a greater possibility being born, but I don’t think we’ve spent all this time and come all this way to crash and burn here at the moment when true freedom, true sovereignty, true evolution is reaching out a hand to us and is most available to us.
Isn’t that the nature of initiation? That it pushes us so far beyond the comfortable and the known that you have to access the deeper truths within our Soul to answer the moment? I believe that’s this moment. We are being drawn forth by Life itself to answer the call of the moment from a far deeper place within ourselves – as individuals, as a collective, and as a world – than we ever have before, and what’s more, the possibility that we will actually answer from that place is more alive than it ever has been before.
Of course it’s this way. Of course it’s this crazy. Of course it’s this perilous. It has to be for us to actually access the thing that can meet this and catalyze the shift in the quantum realm that will transform the material in ways we have never even conceived of before. We are being invited to embody the greatest of our potential, and it is not through ease but through pressure. Extraordinary pressure. Diamond-making pressure.
A pressure that requires us to actualize our power as aspects of the source in profound ways.
And I believe in our ability to meet that.