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What’s Really Happening Here?

I grew up with a lot of trauma. In my teens I got furious about it and rode that “red horse of anger” for 20 years. There was a long period of substance use, starting with psychedelics and following that path all the way into the white powder realm. I did a lot of dangerous things with a lot of dangerous people, I lived a very wild and underground life (which I enjoyed tremendously), and I told society to go fuck itself in every way I could while I found my own way to go through the madness of the now over and over again.

This all created an extraordinary life of deep communion with the mystery, wild sovereignty, and gorgeous experience. It also led to a lot of health problems, a lot of interpersonal problems, and a lot of work to do in the realms of integrating the trauma-splintered elements of my psyche and cultivating the capacity for living in the human endeavor with grace, wisdom, and skill.

A central tenet of this entire endeavor has been one question:

What’s Really Happening Here?

To live with this question as my lighthouse has fundamentally changed my life. Navigating life with this inquiry enthroned at the center of my experience, I notice when I am emotionally activated (aka, “triggered”), that behaviors are arising from that activation, that the source of the activation bears deeper/broader reflection, and that probably – most times – something different than the reaction I am about to invest in would be appropriate, necessary, and life-giving in this situation.

In short, I have cultivated (and am still cultivating) psychic and emotional maturity.

Basic, yet in no way simple given our conditioning in the modern age.

I dare say we could use a fuck-load more of that maturity as a collective right now.

People are so divided over the “v” issues – the shot and the cold – that it is tearing our society to shreds. Pro- or anti- whatever specifics and/or generals of this situation in any given moment, people are fighting each other tooth and nail, claw and club, over every detail as if our lives depend on it. As if fighting each other is really going to change our situation. It's true that our lives depend on sorting this situation out - and quickly! - but not for the reasons or in the way that we are fighting over.

What people aren’t asking deeply or broadly enough to change our situation is the core question “What’s Really Happening Here?”

It’s not the p(l)andemic.

It’s the most profoundly blatant upward transfer of wealth and power imaginable, which is being carried out in the trojan horse of the p(l)andemic.

According to Medical Express, an online medical journal, “P-fizer, Bio-N-Tech and M-oderna are making combined profits of $65,000 every minute from their highly successful CO(V)ID-19 vac(c)ines”

That's really happening. And they plan to raise the prices on the jabs when the "emergency" status of the p1andemic passes.

In the wake of the global lockdowns which forced small businesses to shutter or so severely restrict their daily doings that they can barely stay afloat, J. Bezos has become “worth” $200 billion dollars as Amazon became the go-to for the distribution of goods once the world went online.

There are now 745 billionaires in the U.S. alone, many of them profiting directly from p(l)andemic related changes, but most ordinary (as in, not extremely rich) people are looking housing and food insecurity clear in the eye while trying to keep their sanity in a world where the basic principles of human life (as in, contact) have now become suspect and cause for contention.

Mental health issues, domestic violence, substance abuse, and suicide rates are all skyrocketing because so many people are desperate, hopeless, and miserable.

This is an important element of what’s really happening here.

All this to say, the person over there with no face diaper on isn't really the biggest issue. The other one over there getting their shot isn't really the issue either.

The way we are being controlled, manipulated, and fucked over by the super wealthy is. The way the world is being torn apart of the benefit of the extremely privileged few is the issue.

So let's not turn our passions about our perspectives on the people around us who see things differently. I've definitely done it! So this is as much for me as for anyone reading this. We have to remember this over and over again so that we can come back to patience, compassion, and clarity over and over again.

Remember that for the most part, all of us peasants down here working not to get crushed under the bottom of the pyramid want the same thing: a life of freedom and beauty wherein we can live well with people we love doing things we enjoy that enrich our souls and the world around us. Most of us care in the same ways but with different beliefs. There is an “us-and-them” in this situation, but it’s not you and me: it’s the extremely wealthy who are using this pandemic to gather up all the wealth, land, and power, and the rest of us.

If we keep fighting with each other over the peanuts on the floor instead of looking up to see where the peanuts are coming from, we won’t recognize that someone is throwing them there to keep us distracted from the reality that they have a matrix jack in our backs and are using us a battery for their own benefit while they steal our lives and our joy for shits and giggles. I wouldn't be surprised if they were laughing about it while they see the videos and read the posts of us fighting each other, either.

Let’s ask the question “what’s really happening here” when some new mockingbird media blitz starts telling us what to fear and who to blame. Let’s ask who this fear and blame are going to benefit. Let’s follow the money and start actually turning this frustrated passion and it’s potential power where it belongs: on the people and systems who are profiting from the devastation of society and the world.

Let’s take our power back by learning how to ask this question internally and collectively.

It takes a lot of self-possesion, patience, and deep breathing, but it's the thing that may really, finally, turn this shit around.

And I, for one, would definitely like to see that happen.

Much love to you, friends.



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